Student Entry: The glorious voyage by Sara Jayakumar

Hello, I’m here to tell you a story,

About my voyage, how I’m here,

Somewhere along the middle I began to worry,

That, not my problems, but I would disappear.

I was only twelve when it started,

The anxiety, the fear,

To me this was all new, uncharted,

It hurt every second, every day, every week, every year.

I couldn’t think or see or breathe,

A wave of panic surged constantly,

This feeling would just not leave me,

I would never know what it was like to be free.

I had to make split-second decisions,

About where I would be later on,

I never got the chance to flesh out the visions,

It was all just a blurry mess, my fear had won.

I was never prepared to leave my room,

The place I knew when all else was faded,

Deadlines always came too soon,

I never knew I would have made it.

I was never happy anymore,

It was always something or the other,

A simple smile became a chore,

Joy was task, I never bothered.

I was getting older now, 

My fear was getting stronger,

Happiness, something I never allowed,

My anxiety, skilfully conquered.

At this time I lost all hope,

I took a knife and gently slid along my shaking arm,

With the pain I would not have to cope,

Me? I was prone to harm.

My parents didn’t realise I was hurt,

They couldn’t have possibly helped,

I always wore a full-sleeved shirt,

Tears just rolled down, I didn’t scream, never yelped.

I knew this wasn’t the final solution,

Just, an easy way out,

I had to promise myself it would get better, had to make a resolution,

This time I wouldn’t stay quiet, I would scream I’d shout.

I took a better medicine,

A chord on the guitar,

A simple pen, the stroke of a brush,

Became my new companion.

It suddenly seemed better, 

It didn’t hurt anymore,

And I didn’t have to live in sweaters,

A smile, no longer a chore.

 

Hello, I’m here to tell you a story,

About my glorious journey

I’m not that sad anymore, I’m happy now

No need for tears, I’ve got myself now

The poem was written by Sara Jayakumar, a student of Vasant Valley School, Delhi. She submitted her work as a part of the Belongg Writing Contest 2021.