Student Entry: Musings of a Depressed Soul by Kyra Dhar

Mornings. School. Friends. Fun.

What do these words even mean?

To me, they are a reminder of the mask I wear everyday,

A mechanism that makes sure that I am not seen.

 

Mornings fill me with a sense of dread,

About getting up and communicating;

All I want is to stay home alone,

Because pretending all day long feels very suffocating.

 

School is the place where the impostor comes out,

The one who is popular, confident and comfortable in her own skin;

She doesn’t shy away from the scrutinising stares of society, 

She faces everything with a wide grin.

 

Friends make me want to cry,

Because they are as fake as the smile pasted on my face;

They never see the real me,

All they want is the popularity that comes by being in my good grace.

 

Fun is a term I don’t even know the meaning of anymore, 

It has been snatched away from me;

By the fog that surrounds me at every step of my life,

I can’t escape it, even though all I want is to be free.

 

Stuck inside the cage of my mind, 

Unable to escape, I am confined.

I can only dream about what is behind,

But I live in the shadow of the fog that makes me blind.

 

These monsters haunt me day and night,

They cloud my vision and my sight;

I want to give up but I keep hoping for a knight,

But deep down inside, I know that I am the only one who can win this fight.

 

It makes me wonder,

What if my life was in reality like the impostor?

Would I be cheerful and happy?

Or would the demons of my mind still not leave me?

 

These musings of mine are all in vain,

Depression just leads to a lot of pain;

Always try to fight to be joyful,

Because the alternative is simply awful. 

The poem was written by Kyra Dhar, a student of Vasant Valley School, Delhi. She submitted her work as a part of the Belongg Writing Contest 2021.

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